qualifying exams

[photo cred: my dear friend Ryen Mcpherson]

The Ominous Qualifying Exam.

Also known as "Preliminary Exams," 

or "Prelims" in some places.

Around these parts it is lovingly referred to as "Quals."

A word that illicits a fight or flight response

in graduate students everywhere.

Some would claim that the Qualifying Exam is

 a test of will...or perhaps just plain torture.

A mechanism our grad programs use to try to break us.

& If you make it out alive,

your allowed to call yourself a "PhD Candidate."

[does that even mean anything?]

So...What does this horrid exam consist of?

Well, it really depends on your graduate program...

Currently our program requires that 

following the second year, we spend two 8 hour days 

[hand]writing essay responses to 

questions based upon our previous 2 years of coursework.

[blahhhhhhhh]

Most students spend their entire summer studying.

An entire summer of stress, nightmares, 

& basically an overwhelming sense of doom...

not to mention a serious lack of productivity in the lab.

....I don't know about you 

but I recall the phrase:

"Publish or Perish!"

...I need to focus on my research, people!

I need first authored papers!

I need grant money!

[& What I definitely don't need is more experience taking tests!]

However,

[and this is a big! exciting! hopeful! however...]

My program is taking considering changing this process!

In fact, the Graduate Council votes on it TODAY!

...needless to say I am on pins & needles waiting for the decision...

The new Quals would consist of writing a grant,

presenting this grant in a 15min talk,

& orally defending your brilliant ideas under fire!
[aka in front of a committee].

[which is by no means less work, 

but so much more beneficial to the student & department!]

The good news for me is that:

I already wrote a grant this spring!

Which means:

I am 75% finished with quals if this get passed!

[I might just faint!]

omg.omg.omg.

Cross your fingers for me!

I'll keep you all updated on the outcome :)

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In the meantime...

Some tips about grad school [see #1.5],

A funny comic about the famous Post Quals Slump.

 A silly Quals meme

& last but not least,

A good song to cheer you up :)

[with lyrics that could be disturbingly related to the topic at hand]

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If you are a grad student- 

What are your quals like?

Would you like to see them changed?

If you have already taken them, 

are you proud of your accomplishment?

Do you think Quals are meaningless or

an essential step in our education?

xox